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Monday, April 03, 2006, 2:29 AM
first post ~~
Well, had a grp outing.. went to marina bay for steamboat with kenny, andrew, chun xiang, dehong, xueying, kenneth, chunyang.. my bangkok gang.. koyang and chin chye oso came .. went to zheng fa huo hai xian for steamboat .. had alot of fun chatting and eating.. i was the quietest one there, happily eating while my friends talked. Dehong even said that im too engrossed in eating than interacting with us. well, i can say it is true. :P After eating, we decided to stroll our way back to marina bay mrt station. In the end, we split ourselves into two "gangs". Me, kenny, koyang and xueying were the first, the rest were the second. We had our own conversation, as we started to drift apart. Back at the station, i suddenly thought of doing something bad on kenneth for imitating a transexual's voice back in bangkok. So, when we got on the train, I asked to be seated beside kenneth, so that I can ask him to imitate that voice again, while i cover his mouth or pinch his face. I managed to cover his mouth as he tried to imitate that transexual voice. But the sad thing is that some of them didnt get what i was trying to do, maybe bcos i did it too fast. On the way back home inside the train, saw xueying, chun xiang and de hong having their own private conversation... dunno wat they are talking about, so decided to have our own talk, kenneth mentioned that we have a night cycling or trip to sentosa every fortnight. It hasnt been decided yet, but i think most of us wld agree. Also, talked about organsing a trip to malaysia before we guys go for NS and watching soccer tonight over this coming weekend. Suddenly, feel that there are a lot of activities coming up. lol Soon, the train reached amk. All the guys wanted to alight, to have a guy's talk at central. Chun xiang oso asked me to alight but i wanted to accompany xueying back home in yishun. I insisted, and now i totally regret what i did. She was worried that i cannot catch a train back to amk if i accompany her back home. But I didn't care much. Didnt have much of a guy's talk at amk central mac, they were discussing abt exercising and gym the next day. It was only until we walked back home that i found out everything. Was walking beside dehong, and he told me that he and xueying were talking about me on the train. He told me that I was too rash, too aggressive, too insensitive, too quiet. I was too eager to get into a relationship with her, but unknowningly.... i hurt her. I can only blame myself.. and on my previous experience wif a girl i really like. It was really a long time ago, i have no feelings for her now but i can still remember what i did wrong. I was very close with her during the days when i worked in Cisco with some of sec frens. That period me and my sec frens were waiting to get into poly, and we managed to find a job at Cisco. Although we were close, we NEVER got into a relationship. I didn't make any move at that time, and i regretted. I tried to chase her after we got into poly but it was too late. She avoided me. In that incident onward, i told myself NOT to let this happen again. I WILL make my first move to the girl i like. There were so many things about me, and it makes me wonder why i was like that. Sometimes, i really hate myself for being so quiet.. WHY i wasnt like dehong who can chit-chat all day long, WHY i wasnt like chun xiang who can easily interact with girls. The words "quiet", "shy" have been ringing in my ears since i was young. I really HATE this. I reflected on myself alone, on a long quiet walk back home. My mind was full of regrets.. how i wish i didnt do some of the things i did for the past few days. My surprise visit to her workplace after work wasnt really a surprise.. i was too aggressive in making my moves (sending her home after outing), without asking her whether she wants me to accompany her back home....... my bad.. To xueying: I'm sorry. |
thedeceptionist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.Lim Yu Chen | 09Jun86 | Mayflower Pri | 1F : 2F: 3B: 4B: 5B: 6B | Mayflower Sec | 1E4 :: 2E4 :: 3Integrity :: 4Integrity | Ngee Ann Poly | Diploma in Business Studies (Service Management) | SIM - RMIT | Bachelor of Business (Management) | likes: surfing the net, listening to music, playing and watching soccer, go on food hunt, cycling, mahjong, watching movies |
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